Archive for September 7th, 2010

I Hate Me, Part 274,990

I was running around on my day off and was looking to get some lunch. Every now and again I like to get chicken at Popeye’s. My friend Phil had just turned me onto putting hot sauce on fried chicken, which was akin to a religious revelation, so I was pretty psyched to try it out on Popeye’s chicken. So I went to the drive-thru, I pulled thru to the back where, there was only one car in front of me. It was about ten feet from the squawk-box and the woman in the car was having a yelling match with the confused disembodied voice from the box.
Woman-No! I want two orders of dirty rice and no mashed potatoes
Squawk Box-..shzzzz.zzzz(static)zzssh..was that two MORE orders of dirty rice?
Woman- No!…two and three more wings
Squawk Box–shzz…zzsh three wings?
Woman-Yes! and three more wings.
Squawk Box- zzsss…three more wings?…so that’s six wings
Woman-That’s what I said…and another rice…and two large teas…and another rice
Squawk Box-…zzzssxxzz…ok….seven wings…..four rices….and three large teas

Woman- …an three more wings
Squawk Box…zzszzssshzz…and three more wings…..does this complete your order?

The woman drove around and it was my turn to order, I waited….and I waited. I finally placed my order and as I was placing my order, I heard the woman in the car complaining through the speaker “No! No!. I did not order this!” I pulled around to pick up my order and the woman was still at the food pick up window and I saw a spindly child’s arm reach out through the back window of the car and grab a giant ice-tea from the pick up window. the child and his arm were overmatched by the giant drink and “SPLAT!” spilled drink
Woman-You’re gonna have to get me a new drink now!
Guy at Window- Of course ma’am just pull up and we’ll run it out to you.
Woman-I ain’t movin’ ‘til I got my drink!
I eventually got my food which was great, but I think It would have been a lot quicker if I had built a goddamn Popeye’s myself and cooked my own chicken.