I Like Records 41

a phone call:

Me: Hello, Jacks music. Can I help you?
Woman: Who is this?…What’s your name?
[I hate giving my name out over the phone, sometimes I’ll say my name is Chet.]
Me:..uh..tim
Woman: Alright, Jim. I have a problem with a turntable…
[this part took about five minutes and I didn’t get most of it down, it seems that she bought a Sony turntable and wasn’t happy with it so she called Bose who makes her stereo and they recommended an Audio Technica or a Stanton turntable. She was quizzing me about these turntables. She then talked about a pre-amp she had]...So I was going to Best Buy and I had the pre-amp in the car but it was at least 150 degrees for five days and I didn’t dare open the car and I think the heat might have damaged the pre-amp, so I went to Radio Shack and they don’t know anything..know what I mean..
Me:…yeah, they’re idiots
Woman: Thank you. Especially the manager. he’s in a wheelchair and he has an attitude a mile wide. I don’t know what happened to him, maybe he’s angry because he’s in a wheelchair, I don’t think he even has legs. So maybe that’s why he has attitude and I don’t feel that I can be mean to him because of his wheelchair and if I judge him it’ll show on my face…you know?
Me: …Yes, it’s hard to judge somebody and not show it.

Woman: No, it’s not. I can judge somebody and they’ll never know I’m doing it…Guess how old I am
Me:I give up.
Woman: I’m 88, I don’t sound it do I…No, I don’t…Know how I got this old?…No TV, nope, it’s the boob tube and I don’t drink…well maybe a glass of Pinot Grigio from time to time and I listen to the radio, WOR, WABC. You know who I love…Joan Hamburg, she competes with Rush Limbaugh, I listen to a little of Joan and then I go to my Rush. I love Joan, she talks about the Hamptons…mmmmm…ok…I’ll call back about the turntable.

    • Art Buchwald
    • July 31st, 2010

    She’s right: Joan Hamburg is an undeniable radio talent. Lovely, too.

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