Nerd Theater

a used Ornithopter

Used Car Dealer on Dune
by Tim Cronin and Matt Boudiette

[the scene: a used car dealership on Dune]

CustomerHey, I’m no mentat but this used Ornithopter is pretty expensive and I’m more than a little worried with all the miles on it.

Used Car Salesman– That’s perfectly alright, sir. We don’t want a Gom Jabbar here. You shouldn’t be worried, fear is the mind killer and this baby has been in for all it’s regular maintenance and oil changes. What do we need to get you in this Ornithopter today?

Customer- You guys always use the “fear is the mind killer” thing when somebody has a legit gripe, c’mon how about lower the price a bit.

Used Car Salesman- Mmmmm I’m gonna have to talk to the Kwisatz Haderach, wait here.

[the salesman goes to see the Kwisatz Haderach, 5 minutes pass]

Used Car Salesman– Sorry, no can do, but he did say we could throw in free undercoating.

Customer- Sold!

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