I Hate Me, Part 270,091

Back in my no girlfriend havin’-drink too much-wallow in self pity days, there was a series of comfort meals (although they were more like I Give Up meals) I used to make and while tasty they were akin to pointing a gun loaded with bacon at my chest and firing. These meals should be enjoyed with warm beer or cold coffee. Weeping is optional. Bon appetit.

1 Loaf of Pepperidge Farm Toasting White

Turn oven on to low, place large serving platter in it.
Toast bread and butter it.
After buttering toast, place on platter in oven.
Repeat until loaf is finished.
Remove toast filled platter from oven.
Stack toast on another plate.
Eat toast.

1 Pound of bacon (thick cut)
1 Loaf of Italian bread

Slice Italian bread in half (longways), hollow out loaf.
In a pan, cook bacon to desired crispness.
Remove bacon from pan and drain on paper towels.
Fill bread with bacon.
Eat sandwich.

Enough ground beef to fill a large frying pan
Season and cook ground beef to liking.
Drain grease from the cooked ground beef.
Put ground beef in large bowl.
(NOTE: on a particularly horrible day the cooked ground beef can be eaten directly from frying pan)

    • fishbreath
    • June 20th, 2010

    my mouth and eyes are watering as i fumble for 911. i am going to enjoy this kodak-kardiac moment.
    you are truly hilarious, thanks for that.

    • Chris Burns
    • June 21st, 2010

    And you eat these over the sink or garbage can, right?

    • feedtim
    • June 21st, 2010

    They are ideally eaten while watching Bugs Bunny cartoons

    • Morty Lambstershank
    • June 21st, 2010


  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s