A Message From the Pretzel Council
We at the Pretzel Council don’t condone murder (even for those fanatical anti-pretzel activists), but if murder must be committed, why not use a pretzel?
Here’s four easy steps to a perfect pretzel murder:
1) Obtain giant pretzel (We recommend Das Pretzel King or Tiny’s Artisanal Pretzel Works. However you should avoid Salto’s Pretzel Town as they don’t belong to the BPBI (Brotherhood of Pretzel Benders International))
2) Freeze giant pretzel. (You should use a dedicated pretzel freezing unit, they are available at most pretzel manufacturing supply outlets)
3) Use giant frozen pretzel as a bludgeon or sharpen the giant frozen pretzel and use as a blade (There are many instructional video’s online concerning pretzel sharpening.)
4) Thaw and eat pretzel (You should first clean the giant pretzel/murder weapon. There are quite a few pretzel cleaning products out there, we recommend Pretzel Glow.)
Murder most foul? How about murder most delicious.
PRETZELS! NOT JUST FOR EATIN’!