I Hate Me, Part 277,128
I was making copies at the UPS store and there was a loud guy on a cel phone. I had my back to him and I heard him say “I had the third eye surgery”. So being a science fiction/comic book nerd and an all around jackass, my first thought was “Holy shit, a guy with three eyes”. So I snuck a peak at him and of course the poor bastard had on an eye patch and was talking about the third eye surgery on his sickly eye. So I felt bad that he a shitty eye, yet I was also angry at him for not actually having a third eye.