At Nissan Headquarters, the day after Times Square bomb attempt

NEW YORK — Times Square returned to normal Sunday while authorities investigated a makeshift car bomb. Police are examining propane tanks, fireworks and other materials collected from the Nissan Pathfinder that began emitting smoke.

(at Nissan headquarters):

-Did you see this, a fucking car bomb in a goddamned Nissan Pathfinder, A NISSAN! Goddamn it, that’s not good publicity. Did anyone check to see if Toyota was behind this? It would be right up their goddamned alley to put a bomb in one of our cars.

-No sir, the reports are that it might have been terrorists

-Jesus, I can just hear it now “Nissan, the choice of car bombers.” Fuck!

-How about, “Nissan, terrorist tough”

-…..Just who the fuck do you work for boy?! Toyota? I mean Christ, if the bomb was in a Toyota we could say “Toyota, terrorist tested” Yes, that would be a black eye for them, but it was a bomb in a goddamn Nissan, and a Pathfinder at that. That’s one of our flagship cars, fuck!

-Well sir, at least nobody was hurt.

-Nobody hurt? Nobody hurt!? How about the brand son, the Nissan brand was hurt, that’s who was hurt……….(deep sigh)…There goes our promotion with Liam Nessson, he was gonna temporarily change his name to Liam Nissan for a sales event.  He’s probably going to back out now, with all this bad publicity……..Shit, double check to see if Toyota was behind it.

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