I Hate Me, Part 399,546/I Like Records 30

(This is one is a hybrid, a little bit “I Hate Me” a little bit “I Like Records”)

Guy comes in last night to sell cd’s/lp’s. He’s in town to see the John Hiatt show at the Count Basie, he seems a little off. I’m not sure if he’s had a few pops or if he’s just excited to see John Hiatt. He tells a long rambling story about a John Eddie concert where John Eddie was really drunk and messed up a bunch of songs. Then he asks if other Jersey Shore luminaries ever come into the store. He follows each name with “I heard he’s a jerk”. This goes on for a while and I can’t really get away as I’m trapped behind the counter pricing records. He then points to a wall that has a few Springsteen pictures on it;
Guy– “My friend took that picture.”

Me– “that’s cool.”

Guy– “He’s coming in tonight and we’re gonna see Hiatt. That should be good,right?”

Me– “that’s nice”

Guy– (looking at his phone) “Hey, he’s calling me. Say something to him.”

Me– “What?!…No”

Guy-(shoving phone towards me) “Here, tell him about the picture.”

Phone- “Hello….hello…”

Me-(glaring at the guy, but picking up the phone anyway) “yeah”

Phone-”Who’s this?”

Guy– (yelling so phone guy can hear him) “Tell him about the picture, TELL HIM ABOUT THE PICTURE!”

Me-”You’re supposed to tell me about some picture.”

Phone– “What picture?


Me– “Here, This is retarded. Take your phone back.”

Phone– “What Picture!?”

So the guy’s not taking the phone back from me, he’s just yelling at it. “You know the picture!” and I can hear the guy on the phone yelling “What picture?!”. I just put the phone down and walked away, which is what I should have done in the first place.

  1. Jesus—that shit happens all the time at our record store. Do you get alot of real smelly peeps coming in? We go through lysol like crazy.

    yesterday–and this is true—a guy went on for almost 30 minutes on who REALLy shot JFK….HE KNOWS! hahahaha

    • chris t
    • March 12th, 2010

    tim, i dont even have anything funny to say about that one. i just feel for ya.
    having done my fair share of record store sentences, i just dont know how you still do it, yer skin must be like a rhino.
    this one just borders on abuse and harrasment.

    at least i know the show he went to sucked @$$.

    • Morty Lambstershank
    • March 12th, 2010

    Crack Kills.

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