I Hate Me, Part 379,003

Foodtown:further adventures at

The threat of a snowstorm always pack grocery stores. So last night after the warning of yet another storm, Foodtown wasn’t my personal store as it usually is at night. It was overrun with the “stock up for the storm” crowd. I got my stuff; sliced roast beef, ham and chicken from the deli department a package of sandwich wraps and a couple of Lean Cuisine frozen dinners for my wife. I got on the 10 items or less line, there were a couple of people in front of me but it was moving. A friend of mines wife was on line and we had a “I’m sick of this goddamned snow” conversation. Then it was my turn, the kid starts ringing me up and he gets to the end and he’s holding the deli bag of sliced chicken and he’s looking at me…
Kid – What’s this?

Me – ..chicken…

Kid – There’s no price sticker on it

Me – ..ok… well, it’s a half pound of Boars Head Rotisserie Chicken

Kid – There’s no sticker on it

[ The line is starting to get longer, there are now four people behind me and I’m looking around for the price sticker. I figured it somehow wound up on me, “Hey, you cost $4.99, haw haw”, it didn’t. The kid is looking at me all slackjawed, and I give him a “C’mon buddy, do something” look]

Kid – I guess I’ll get it reweighed

[ So instead of calling someone from the managers desk or the deli, the kid takes off with my chicken, leaving the register unattended. there are now about seven people behind me and no one’s happy. I’ve been at the ass end of these lines and I’d always curse the poor bastard who was holding up the line. It was also close to closing time and the only other register had a line of people buying enough food for a small army. I’m dying a thousand deaths. The kid comes back, without the chicken. ]

Kid – Yeah, they’ll weigh it.

Me – I thought that’s what you were doing

Kid – No, I just brought it to them

[ I looked up at the register screen and I see that the chicken had already been rung up]

Me – Hey man, that chicken already got rung up

Kid – Really?

Me – Yeah, look at the screen; chicken, roast beef, ham

[ the kid rescans the roast beef]

Me – You just rang that up a second time

Kid – Oh…yeah

[ he rescans a Lean Cuisine (chicken in peanut sauce)]

Me – You just rang that up a second time as well

Kid – Well there are two Lean Cuisine’s

[ Now I’m completely frustrated, the line is up to about ten people and I’m arguing with this kid about Lean Cuisines. I might as well be arguing about tampon prices or extra small condoms. There’s a palpable hate vibe coming from the end of the line. Finally the kid finds out what happened, the chicken sticker came off and got stuck on one of the Lean Cuisines (Chicken ala Shame). This nightmare is about over , my reweighed chicken came back and because my body runs on humiliation, I apologize to the line.  I’m thinking “Hey checkout kid, you can join in the apology as well, your ineptitude didn’t help things.” Of course he didn’t, and I slunk off into the night.]

    • cranky chris t
    • February 25th, 2010

    at least you know a few things..
    1. where that cashier works.
    2. when he gets off work.
    3. a good use for a baseball bat that isnt quite baseball.

    as i’ve said before, foodtown will be the death of you if you don’t learn to stay out of there!!! 😀

  1. and this is why i just head for the liquor store when snow is headed our way…

    • Art Buchwald
    • February 26th, 2010

    Foodtown is a good name for a grocery.

    Better than, say, Foodtropolis or Foodstadt.

    • john McBain
    • February 27th, 2010

    Foodtown can suck it. Grand Union kicks ass.
    And do they still have Wa Wa in Jersey?

  2. yep, the wawa in lakewood is one of the only places you can get a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread and some crack…

    • john McBain
    • February 28th, 2010

    Weird. Thats my current shopping list.

    • pud
    • March 2nd, 2010

    I think someday that kid will write his side of the story in his own “i hate me”

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