Archive for February 17th, 2010

I Hate Me, Part 277,118

I was out to lunch with my wife. After we ordered my wife went to the ladies room, and I was staring off into space, absent mindedly scratching the side of my nose. In a Seinfeldian turn of events, the waitress came back to ask how I wanted my prime rib sandwich (medium rare) as I was scratching my nose. Of course I thought that she thought she saw me picking my nose. So in the few minutes until my wife came back I scratched my nose in an exaggerated manner so it would be obvious that I was only SCRATCHING my nose. Two things happened; the first was I looked like an idiot and the second was that I actually made my nose bleed by scratching it so much. I tried to explain what happened to my wife but stopped halfway through when I caught her giving me the “I married a mental patient” look, a look I’ve seen too many times.