Archive for February 9th, 2010

I Hate Me, Part 309,772

My wife got me a Blu-Ray player for my birthday, which was a great gift. We wanted to watch something that would visually kick our ass. I had suggested My Dinner With Andre, there was an argument but cooler heads prevailed and we watched Iron Man. Now as many of you know I like comics, (if I could invent a font for the phrase “I Like Comics” would be called Sweetly Retarded a font with backwards and misshapen letters). My wife wanting to watch a comic book movie was alright with me. So we’re watching and it looks great and we get to the part where Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is building what is to become Iron Man and my wife asks “Did he name himself Iron Man right away?” and I was thinking “Great, here come the dumbass questions” So in my douchiest comic geek manner “No, He didn’t name himself during his origin, he came up with it later.” “Oh, because I thought he called himself Iron Man when he was building it.”, “No (sheesh)”. The next day I went and looked in my Iron Man Essentials Volume One and I’ll be goddamned, Tony Stark starts calling himself Iron Man on page 7. I felt like an emasculated geek. My wife grew up cooler than me, she had five older brothers and sisters when she was growing up and was exposed to not only a shitload of comics but cool music as well. When she was being turned onto Alice Cooper-Billion Dollar Babies and T-Rex, I was stuck with an AM radio tuned to WABC listening to King Harvest and Jim Croce.  So I went up to the attic where I keep my records and comics, aka The Fortress of Solitude, or The Nerd Hutch depending on who you’re asking. Some people refer to a place like that as “A Man Cave” which sounds embarrassing and lame. “Man Cave” sounds like a mixture of Adam Carolla, Spike TV, and Coors Light. “Yeah baby, I’m going to my man cave and getting my football on, call me when my bro’s show up with a couple of cases of Rocky Mountain goodness.” Anyhow, my records and comics told me I was still cool, but they’ve been known to lie.