I Hate Me, Part 226,902

late for practice

The day started of great and got progressively worse, mainly because of the weather.
It was my day off today and I got up early to drive my step-daughter to school. It was an amazing day, real stormy and rainy. A great day off. Later in the morning I got a large coffee and drove down to the beach and just sat by the ocean, couldn’t be better. I had to work for a couple of hours pricing a shitload of records we just bought, but that was cool. I was at work for a couple of hours and… What the fuck, it got sunny out. I hate great stormy days that get sunny. We should have a social contract with nature, start stormy and end stormy. It wasn’t even  “thank Christ the storm is over”, blue sky and bright sunshine. It just stopped raining and the sky turned a yellowish grey as if nature couldn’t be bothered and just went “Eh, I’m not really feelin’ it today”. Anyhow that soured my day. Much later I had band practice and I had to get fliers for a show photocopied and I went to Staples. You have to buy a card and copiers use the card, so I go to put the dollar in the card machine. The dollar I used was horrible, very wrinkled with a tear on it and of course the machine wouldn’t accept it. So instead of getting a different dollar, I tried to force it in and took it as a personal affront that the card dispenser wouldn’t accept my wretched dollar. I shook it so hard that if it was a pinball machine it would have lit up “TILT”. Amazingly it finally took the dollar and copies were made. I also had to get markers and the line was slow and stupid. I begin to realize that I’m going to be late for practice if this line doesn’t start moving faster. The woman in front of me, after questioning every price (“Oh, it’s a mail-in rebate,mmmm…”) is finally leaving when the cashier asks her if she wants a coupon for a PC cleaning. Instead of just saying “no, thanks” she acted like she was being offered a plate of shit “Oh, no…no,no. We don’t have a PC (she made a lemon face), we have a Mac (condescending smile) ”. Who gives a fuck if you have a Mac. I love Mac’s, I’m writing this on one, but fuckin’ Apple disciples can be douche bags . I still have to get coffee for practice so I go to the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru. At night it’s usually empty, there’s just one car in front of me. Great. I pull up to the window and I wait and wait. I start to look at the car in front of me, It’s festooned with christian stickers; “Keep Christ in Christmas”, not one but two Jesus fish and something that I think reads “My Other Car is The Rapture”, and I’m still fucking waiting. The guy at the window starts handing out bags of food and a bunch of coffees, not just two or three but twelve to fifteen coffees. This shit just kept coming. Finally it ends and I pay for my coffee and for fucks sake, the Jesus mobile in front of me is stopped. They seem to be sorting out the coffee and food, which is fine. What’s not fine is that they’re blocking the exit while doing it. A glare, a beep, and I’m out of there. I’m not late for practice, yet. So I decide to take a short cut. I don’t have much luck with short cuts, but like Charlie Brown and the football I’ll always try. This shortcut involves crossing train tracks. I’m gonna fucking make it. No. You’re. Not. I have to sit thru not one but two trains. And I’m late for practice, ugh.

    • chris
    • January 27th, 2010

    it’s amazing how many jesus freaks have god as their co-pilot, yet still suck ass at driving.

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