Archive for December 18th, 2009

I Hate Me, Part 201,641

As much as I denigrate Foodtown in my many Tim vs. Foodtown stories* (riveting stories of one man’s constant battle against an entire town of food), they do make really great fried chicken. Getting back from tour I wanted to treat myself to some, I picked up three breasts (please control your snickering) and two wings. A breast and a wing for lunch (for two days) and one cut up in a salad for dinner. The woman behind the counter handed me a larger than normal box and I didn’t think much of it until I went to pay for it. Pow! Twenty six dollars ($26), at $5.99 a pound that’s over four pounds of chicken made up of 3 breasts and two wings. I took a look and Good Lord, it was like mutant Flintstone sized chicken breasts. The chickens they came from must have been the size of a Volkswagon, however it was tasty. I’m guessing it was a terrifying experiment in deliciousness.

*[These stories will be retold in a  minor motion picture starring George Wendt.  They will also be made into; a series of flash cards, a breakfast cereal, a bumper sticker and a pair of pants]

chicken breast in comparison to a small mule

chicken breast dwarfing my step-daughters hand (this was also to be our family christmas card photo)