I Hate Me, Pt. 165,998

I went out yesterday while I was at work to get my wife some roses. She was having a crummy day and, well she is married to me so if that doesn’t deserve roses than I don’t really know what does. So I went to the florist who’s a block away, it’s usually empty there and time seems to stand still. The guy who runs it is a nice enough guy, but I have zero to say and the whole transaction takes too much time for complete silence. He has a couple of tattoos so that was good for one conversation, but it’s been uncomfortable (on my end) the last couple of times.
Hi, can I get a dozen roses
-Sure, mixed?
Yeah, that’s fine
[The silence is killing me. I don’t know why, I usually like silence. Anyhow it’s excruciating, time is moving backwards. So I blurt out…]
-So those refrigerated flower cases…they look like they could be used in a restaurant kitchen…(WHAT!? )
-(the florist, clearly bothered that I spoke)..yeah…I don’t know..
Of course not..And…why would you (hurry up with those goddamn roses)
-…Yeah, all I know is that they have to be thirty six degrees or I gotta call the guy. It’s gotta be colder for food, too cold and the flowers will be ruined.
-…I didn’t mean food and flowers, I just meant they’re cool and old looking and would look cool in a restaurant. (Why did I respond, stupidstupidstupid)
-Well they look old, but everything inside is new. I had to get a new compressor and that set me back two grand. So they may look old but…but they’re not old inside. [By this point he’s stopped wrapping the roses and he’s into talking about the refrigerator] Those doors have had some work done on them as well.
Yeah,huh (aaaauuuurrrghh!)
the whole thing took less than ten minutes but it felt like ten hours

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s