Archive for May 23rd, 2009

A Diner for All Seasons

 

How many seasons?

How many seasons?

There’s a diner near where I live that until a while ago was named The Four Seasons Diner. then one day it mysteriously changed it’s name to The All-Seasons Diner.
MINUTES FROM THE FOUR SEASONS DINER OWNERS MEETING


OWNER 1
-I’ve called an emergency meeting, we have to change our name.

OWNER 2-What happened?

OWNER 1-I have a friend in the government and word is they’re going to change the number of seasons.

OWNER 3-Are you sure, that sounds kind of crazy.

OWNER 1– Oh, I’m sure. The thing is no one knows what it’s going to be changed to. It could be three seasons or it could be five.

OWNER 2- Five seasons, three seasons? Are they mad? You’re right we have to change our name.

OWNER 3– What are we gonna change it to?

OWNER 1– Let’s be safe and change it to the All Seasons Diner, that way we won’t look like idiots.

OWNER 2– You’re a wise man.

OWNER 3– I agree, so from this moment on we’ll be known as the All Seasons Diner.

Notes From Das Boot 19

Dec. 8 2003, London
Played the Astoria, good show. After show backstage was packed, ten pounds of shit in a five pound back as we used to say when I was a kid. Saw Danny from Gluecifer there, he’s a good guy. Danny does this thing when he gets drunk, he goes into a crowded room and pulls down his pants, bends over and yells “Bikerack!” I don’t think it gets as much laughs as he thinks it does or maybe he’s doing a performance art thing.

6/27/08 Gothenburg, Sweden
We were on a ferry between Germany and Denmark and there were these old people with two gigantic Labrador Retrievers. The guy said they were only puppies, which had me in fear of a race of gigantic Danish superdogs that would take over the world.