Archive for May 5th, 2009

I Hate Me, Part 143,990

When I was about twenty I shared a house with a bunch of people. We rented from a guy who sublet it from someone else. It was a big old house in Highlands NJ and I lived there for about a year and a half. When one of my roommates pulled a gun on another roommate over a parking spot I knew it was time to go. I was there for a few more weeks after that and towards the end we ran out of heating oil. It was winter and we were right up near the water so it was pretty cold. The guy who had the heating oil account was in Florida and the rest of us had no money so we were kind of fucked. About the second day of no heat and after a day of drinking, a couple of us decided that we should burn some of the furniture in the living room fireplace. So we broke up an end table and a recliner and started a fire. Unfortunately the furniture was rather cheapish and had a good deal of plastic in it. The end table had a woodtone plastic veneer and the recliner had a lot of synthetic material in it from the foam cushions to the pleather upholstery. Now not burning plastic and foam should be common knowledge to any idiot, but a drunken idiot is a little more stupid. So we got the fire started and there was these horrible fumes coming from melting plastic in the fireplace. Instead of putting it out we just opened the windows and doors, defeating the purpose of the warmth of the fire but probably saving our worthless lives. So by the end of the night I was freezing, drunk and had a horrible headache. The next day we ditched the furniture bones and got rid of as much of the melted plastic as possible. No one ever said anything and I moved out about a week later

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