Day off, went to see Cheap Trick and The Cult at some Nashville rock fest. I’ve never seen Cheap Trick and since we’re gonna be touring with The Cult, might as well see what we’re getting into. Only caught two songs from Cheap Trick (Dream Police, Goodnight) and it was real good. After the show, this (Merle) haggard old woman with hair like hay and teeth like tiny dice was harassing Cheap Tricks crew for guitar picks, “C’mon you faggots, I know what you wanna see!” With that she popped out two large and battered tits. The crew guys froze in mute horror, one of them threw her a pick. With that she turned to me and Dan and cackled “That always works…look, Dickey Betts signed my tit.” Either southern rock legend Dickey Betts signed her tit or she had an advanced case of melanoma.
The Cult came out and pretty much stunk up the joint. I can’t believe we’re gonna tour for two months with them. Ian Astbury (or “Eating Assberry”, or “Ian Outtagasbury”) came out wearing some weird black bandanna looking like he should be on T.V. telling fortunes with Miss Cleo instead of trying to rock. He taunted those who left early with such bon mots as “There goes some people who shop at IKEA.” This elicited neither cheers nor boos only the sound of 100’s scratching their heads wondering what the hell he meant.