I Hate Me, Part 301,891

I was driving around by the ocean with Carrie and we had just hit Dunkin’ Donuts. Some slow moving asspearl was in front of us doing zero miles an hour, forcing me to pass them. I was holding my coffee and I went to put it in the drink holder between the seats and POW! Carries cup is in the holder I use. I slammed my cup down hard enough that I drove my thumb through the side of the foam cup. Not only spilling coffee from the hole in the cup but spraying it around the car as my thumb was still stuck in it. So I’m passing this jerk with my thumb stuck in a leaking cup of coffee. It was a goddamn mess, coffee everywhere. I was pretty pissed off and knowing that I couldn’t blame anyone but myself, I tried anyway. “You know it’s …protocol that the driver …has the front coffee holder…It’s established…common knowledge…ask anyone…they’ll tell you.” Carrie wasn’t buying my bullshit but was as cool as someone covered in coffee could be, which made me feel like a bigger douche. Which is the way these stories usually end.

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