Worst Concert Ever

Chris Rock

Chris Rock

Blues Traveler

Blues Traveler

About ten years ago when Monster Magnet was still on A&M Records, we got invited to see Chris Rock and “Orchestral” Blues Traveler. It was a corporate show at PNC Art Center sponsored by Heineken. I hated Blues Traveler but liked Chris Rock and events like that were odd enough where it might be interesting. We had good seats and the place was filled up, mostly with khaki / LaCoste wearing white people. This bummed me out and then I realized that I was just another  powerfully uncool white guy who just wasn’t as well dressed as the others. This half-assed epiphany bummed me out even more. Chris Rock came out first and did a quick half hour set, it was funny stuff. Then he got word that the “orchestral” set up for Blues Traveler was taking longer than expected and he’d have to stay out there. This information really threw him for a loop and I’m not sure if he ran out of material or just said “fuck-it, they only paid me for a half hour.” Anyhow, he just wandered around the stage and made vague statements and observations. (After 10 seconds of silence)” Yeah…Blues Traveler…you guys ready for ‘em?…Yeah, they’re setting this shit up for ‘em…Yeah…Just look at these fuckin’ guys up here (pointing to some hapless crew guys setting up a platform on stage)…Look at that motherfucker…He’s all fat and shit…Fat..Mother..Fucker……Yeah…fat..…Blues Traveler yeah…They should be comin’ out soon…yeah…..Blues Traveler” This went on for about fifteen minutes, it was horrible and great at the same time. Chris Rock’s high level of uncomfortableness was a sight to behold. The idiots running things should have gotten him off the stage and put on some music or something. A&M recording artists Blues Traveler eventually made it onstage, augmented by a small classical outfit. They played five or six songs and it was awful. Every now and again a band will have the ego to think their bullshit will sound transcendental with a full orchestra. It rarely works, it sounds like shit and everyone involved is uncomfortable. “Orchestral” Blues Traveler only played for about half an hour and that was it. They didn’t plan on coming back and blues rocking their way through another hour or so as everyone expected, they just left. Lot’s of people were bummed, I was not among them.

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