I Hate Hippies
Mark is a middle aged hippie who embodies none of the original hippie ethic except liking shitty music and looking homeless. He’s like a hippie robot programmed by Fox News and he has a sense of entitlement that would choke a horse (if horses ate such things). He spouts off in a laconic folksy way, which is usually offensive and always annoying. “Ya know man, most of the Mexicans are criminals. I’m all for sending them back, ya know.” “It’s no secret ya know that jews control everything ya know. Who do you think controls all the money? Jews.” He’s some kind of lawncare guy and comes in on rainy days, rarely buys anything and complains about our prices. “yeah, I was looking for the new Bob CD, I know you guys don’t got it. He’s just selling it online, Bob’s selling it himself ya know ‘cause stores take too much money and Bob got ripped off man.” The “Bob” in question is Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead, Mark’s on a first name basis with all the artists he likes; Dave (Matthews), Gregg (Allman), and Derek (Trucks). He also won’t suffer sub par stereo equipment, “yeah, I won’t listen to shit ya know, I got MacIntosh Amps and a Cambridge CD player.” “Why listen to shit, man? Ya know my ears are tuned, tuned man. I can tell a shitty stereo just by listening.” He’s a gift that just keeps giving.