Posts Tagged ‘ The manhattaner magazine ’

Micro-Refurbishing (Reprint)

[work has been crazy, and the heat , and I’m lazy, and anything I’m writing is awful(er). So here’s a re-print]

 

 

Doing Their Part #1: Micro-Refurbishing

From time to time we here at Ugh! like to tip our hats to people who make a difference in our society. The following is an excerpt from The Manhattaner magazine (April, 2010).
Walt Terrell is a 48 year old salesman, he’s married with two children and he lives in Brooklyn. He cares deeply for the city and he wanted to do his part. After months of planning he hit upon an idea, he’s now the face of a new movement he’s hoping will sweep the nation, Micro-Refurbishing. We’ll let Walt describe what it’s all about, “Well, most people want to help change things for the better but they don’t know where to start. They usually attempt something big, they’re going for the grand gesture and when it doesn’t happen fast enough or they encounter some obstacle they get disappointed and quit. With micro-refurbishing we start small. I’ll give you an example, the Brooklyn Bridge is a national treasure but it gets a little shabby from time to time, so over a six week period last year I refurbished a bolt on the pedestrian walkway, well not the whole bolt, just the top part. I cleaned it with a wire brush and steel wool than I primed it and painted it. Good as new, actually I think it looks better than new. It makes the city a little bit better. I know this is still a pretty new idea and it’s blowing peoples minds, but I believe in it and I’m trying to get some corporate funding to keep going with it.” Walt has set up a website for interested parties http://www.microfurb.com MICRO-REFURBISHING: THINK SMALL, THEN THINK SMALLER

The bolt that walt refurbished

The bolt that walt refurbished

The Lin-sanity continues

Excerpted from The Manhattaner Magazine,2/20/12


The “LIN” sanity continues-by Craig Swan
The circus like atmosphere surrounding New York Knick Jeremy Lin shows no sign of abating. Now, almost a month into the “LIN”sanity a few questionable side stories have arisen:
Ben & Jerry’s “Taste the Lin-Sanity” was criticized for using pieces of crushed up fortune cookies in it’s recipe. The company quickly changed ingredients and is now using waffle cookies. However a bigger outrage is brewing over Ben & Jerry’s use of tears from Chinese dissidents to flavor the specialty. So far the company has not released a statement.

Doctor Mike Cubbage, an internist at Sloan-Kettering is facing disciplinary action concerning his diagnosis of a patient. The diagnosis was for Lin-phoma instead of Lymphoma. Dr. Cubbage has defended his actions through his lawyer, who read a prepared statement that read in part, “I knew that the patient is a Knicks fan so I wanted to ease into the diagnosis with a little joke”. Reports are that Cubbage is defending himself with a Laughter is the Best Medicine defense.

And in perhaps the oddest use of Jeremy Lin’s name, the New York Fascist League (NYFL) is posting flyers around Manhattan of Jeremy Lin with a Hitler mustache and the word HIT-LIN and their website address underneath. Spokesman L. Randle said in a statement, “We know it’s kind of a reach and yes, it really doesn’t make any sense at all but with all this hoopla around this Lin kid, we just wanted to get a little of it for ourselves.”

Second Acts: Mikhail Gorbachev

Excerpted from an article in The Manhattaner Magazine (May, 2011)
by Joel Youngblood
Mikhail Gorbachev, famous for bringing democratization or “Glasnost” to the USSR is puttering around his kitchen making a frozen pizza or more specifically a “Gorby’s” frozen pizza. “Here taste this, is there enough garlic on it?”. Since his retirement from politics Mr. Gorbachev has gone into the frozen food business. “I was at loose ends after I left government and I got to thinking…and it was something Reagan said in his Brandenburg Gate speech. Everyone just remembers Mr. Gorbachev. Tear down this wall! but there was a lot more to it, Reagan actually read a list of things for me to do in that speech.” Gorbachev pulls out a crumpled piece of paper and read the list:
Mr. Gorbachev. Tear down this wall!
Mr. Gorbachev. Check the batteries in your smoke alarms twice a year!
Mr. Gorbachev. Separate Your recycling!
Mr. Gorbachev. If you have avocado’s, store them in a paper bag!
Mr. Gorbachev. Develop frozen foods that taste good!
“Well I got to thinking that maybe I could make frozen foods that are not only tasty but affordable and…and this is the tough part, nutritious as well. So I started Gorby’s Frozen Foods and business is good it’s not where I want it to be…but I have a five year plan.”

Gorbachev

The Son Also Sets

only 100 of these were made, beware the brown dice.

This is a reprint from The Manhattaner magazine (Dec, 2010)
Being the son of a minor celebrity has it’s perks as well as it’s drawbacks. Being the son of a minor celebrity with a bad reputation is mostly drawbacks. Being the son of the late infamous “shock rocker” Kevin Michael “GG” Allin and following in his musical footsteps might be the toughest row to hoe. Meet Adof Hiltleer Allin, the twenty five year old son of GG Allin. “Yeah, I know. What’s up with that name, right? Well you know my dad’s crazy sense of humor,  he wanted to name me Adolph Hitler Allin but he was pretty wasted when he was filling out the name card.” Adof’s upbringing was unconventional at best, stories like driving the tour van when he was six years old because he was the most sober don’t paint the whole picture though. “Bet you didn’t know dad was avid Yahtzee player, he was.   Most people think life with GG Allin  was just filth, feces and drugs, and yeah, there was a lot of that but there was also a lot of quiet time, or brain time as dad used to call it. Besides the Yahtzee he was also an amateur botanist and let me tell you when he was wasted and he demanded the correct latin name of a plant, usually something that he had shoved up his ass during a performance and you didn’t know the right name for it, he’d break out the botany books and give long lectures, he was very passionate about it. Some nights the band wouldn’t start the show on time because dad was teaching us about dwarf azaleas or something.” Adof doesn’t like to dwell on his childhood, summing it up with “It was pretty weird being the littlest Murder Junkie” (a reference to Allins band at the time). The young Allin prefers to look to the future, “I’ve taken some cues from dad and I started singing, I’m changing my name to Little Wretched. I’m gonna be doing updated versions of the oldies, Elvis, Little Richard, Roy Orbison stuff like that but I’m gonna add that little extra Allin zing. You know, changing some lyrics, porn ‘em up a little. They’ll be blood, drugs and of course feces and who knows maybe some Yahtzee as well.”

…and amateur botanist

Doing Their Part #1: Micro-Refurbishing

From time to time we here at Ugh! like to tip our hats to people who make a difference in our society. The following is an excerpt from The Manhattaner magazine (April, 2010).
Walt Terrell is a 48 year old salesman, he’s married with two children and he lives in Brooklyn. He cares deeply for the city and he wanted to do his part. After months of planning he hit upon an idea, he’s now the face of a new movement he’s hoping will sweep the nation, Micro-Refurbishing. We’ll let Walt describe what it’s all about, “Well, most people want to help change things for the better but they don’t know where to start. They usually attempt something big, they’re going for the grand gesture and when it doesn’t happen fast enough or they encounter some obstacle they get disappointed and quit. With micro-refurbishing we start small. I’ll give you an example, the Brooklyn Bridge is a national treasure but it gets a little shabby from time to time, so over a six week period last year I refurbished a bolt on the pedestrian walkway, well not the whole bolt, just the top part. I cleaned it with a wire brush and steel wool than I primed it and painted it. Good as new, actually I think it looks better than new. It makes the city a little bit better. I know this is still a pretty new idea and it’s blowing peoples minds, but I believe in it and I’m trying to get some corporate funding to keep going with it.” Walt has set up a website for interested parties   http://www.microfurb.com                                                                                                        MICRO-REFURBISHING: THINK SMALL, THEN THINK SMALLER

the bolt that Walt refurbished

 

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