Posts Tagged ‘ record store ’

I Hate Me, part 401,731

Cold, dead night at work. I’m at the back counter pricing records. Family comes in, middle aged parents and their son who’s really big (not just chunky but tall). The kid is looking at records, father is just staring at me pricing records:
Can I help you, need any help finding anything?
Soooooooo….. records are making a comeback
That’s what they tell me
………..Tell ya what I’m looking for…..I like songs from the 50’s and 60’s……….but I don’t know the artists…or the songs…I just hear stuff on the oldies station….do they make any thing that has a bunch of old songs on it?
Yup, we have a bunch of oldies comps, let me show you
[I showed him where the oldies comps are, he’s happy. five minutes later back at the counter, pointing at his kid who’s still looking at used records]
How old you think my kid is?
….I don’t know man
No, really…how old
…I’m not good at guessing ages
…No idea…nine
Nope..he’s fourteen
…yeah, big kid
yeah…everyone thinks he older
…or younger
The only ones who get it right are his teachers
Well, that’s sort of their job to know that stuff
[Then I was saved by a phone call]

(So this isn’t a total loss, here are some more inserts. My favorite stuff is the ELP Love Beach gear, CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE)
Scan 9
Scan 10
Scan 11
Scan 3
Scan 7
Scan 14

I Hate Me, part 438,110

Just one more thing from working last week:
Two well fed slackjaws in their mid twenties, milling around not buying anything and comparing the lunches they just ate:
That fuckin’ sub..
…it was a fucking CALZONE
whatever, it fuckin’ sucked
(looking at Peter Frampton’s -Somethin’s Happening LP)…hahahabraybrayhahaLook Peter Frampton looks like PATRICIA Frampton.
Duuude…LOOK..He looks like A CHICK, PATRICIA Frampton
I fuckin’ like Peter Frampton
…Yeah but dude, he looks like a chick.
Fuck you
Fuck YOU

I Hate Me, part 477,616

I have been working a lot this week as one of the other managers is on vacation.
1) An old guy, the type of unhappy person my mom would describe as a “pill”. He comes in every couple of weeks to shop and use the bathroom and every time he goes to use the bathroom he can’t get the door to open and accuses us of changing the locks on him. This week he came up to the back counter and asked to hang up his coat behind the counter. There are no coat hooks or hangers behind the counter:
“Well what do you do with you coat?”
“I roll it up and throw it under the counter.”
“hhmmmphhh…I bet a lot of people ask you that… you should get a coat rack for the
“Nobody’s ever asked but you”
“Hhhmmphhhhh….just give me the key to the bathroom”
“Be careful of that lock.”

2) Woman called to ask for directions:
“I need directions to your store”
“Ok, where are you coming from?”
“I’m driving, now”
“Ok, where are at now?”
“A road………………………………………….”
“Well that’s good but I’m gonna need a little more than that to go on”
“I’ll call you back”

I Hate Me, part 390,008/I LIKE RECORDS 81

An over cologned heavy set guy in his thirties dressed in oversized basketball gear brought in a small stack of cd’s to sell. He was loudly talking on his phone while trying to communicate with me through a series of nods and shrugs.
Guy-”yeah, yeah, yeah I’m sellin’ cd’s…yeah you know I don’t like girls…no no no! I LIKE girls but I don’t like…uh real skinny ones..but ah..ya know I don’t like BIG girls.. yeah….uh.. what?!…nonono…no…I ain’t…no, I ain’t shallow…no..look I’ll be honest with you, I’m real smart…I’m into stuff….Yeah, I know I’m big…but I’m…it ain’ it ain’t the same…I’m like uh…like a football player…or somethin’…yeah…like that…that kind a big…”
It took me about five seconds to know we couldn’t use any of his cd’s, mostly scratchy Eminem and Limp Bizkit titles but I wanted to hear where his conversation was going.
Me- “sorry man, I can’t use any of these”
Guy- “…hold on ok….(to me)…really bro?!…none of ‘em…can’t use none of ‘em…bro?…c’mon…Bizkit, bro, Bizkit”
I shrugged my shoulders with my palms up, the international sign of “sorry man, can’t help you” and then I vanished into the back room.

"Bizkit, bro. Bizkit"

“Bizkit, bro. Bizkit”

I hate me, part 319,098/I like Records 80

Late middle-aged tire kicker. The kind of person who always asks for records that nobody ever has, much less seen. This usually leads to a conversation about how cool they are. The problem (one of many) with this guy was he didn’t really have all his info.
Guy-What’s the hardest record to find?
Me-uhhh, I don’t know…Any record I’m lookin’ for is hard to find.
Guy- Nuh uh…there’s a Stones record I’m looking for, I used to have it. It’s really rare…really hard to find…
Me-…(waiting)…which one is it?
Guy-I don’t know
Me-Nothin’?…no song titles?…no description of what the cover looks like?
Guy-..(defeated)..Yeah, that’s what makes it hard to find.
That’s like if Captain Ahab forgot everything about Moby Dick
Ahab-There’s a giant sea creature that I’m after…And it haunts me! We have to find it!
QueegQueg- What kind of creature be this?
Ahab-..I don’t know
Queegqueg-Oy vey

yeah, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for

yeah, I’m not really sure what I’m looking for



here are two slight stories that add up to nothing

[Record Store Day]
Phone Rings
“Hello, Jacks Music”
“……Yeeaahhh, is this the juice bar?”
“No, it’s a record store”
“…awwww..I REALLY wanted the juice bar”
“waitwaitwait…didja get the Phish* album in?”
I thought you wanted a juice bar”
“…Yeeeaaahh…I guess…but I REALLY want the Phish album”
“Well…the store in town that sold juice and records doesn’t sell records anymore and we don’t sell juice and we’re sold out of the Phish album.”
“…soooooo…do ya got the Phish record?”
“…annnnd no juice?”

*the Phish album Lawn Boy was a limited Record Store Day release

A frantic guy came up to the back counter
“ya gotta find this cd for me”
He handed us a card that was written in Cyrillic, which I used to call “the Russian alphabet”. It’s not only a foreign language, it’s a foreign alphabet
“this is in cyrillic, do you have a translation?”
“can’t you type it in?”
“well, no it’s a different language with a different alphabet, don’t you know what it is?”
“no…so you can’t type it in”
“no..most of these letters don’t exist in english..what’s this letter, it looks like a lowercase b with a hat”
“but, I really want that cd”
“’re gonna have to do some homework on it yourself”
“so…… can’t do it?
And then I pretended I had a phone call.

Cyrillic Alphabet

Cyrillic Alphabet


How Not To Price Records

We had gotten in a pretty good copy of Beatles ’65 (in “mono”, for those keeping score), I was going to sell it for $7.99. I was pricing a stack of records and was going thru it pretty fast and was pretty sloppy. Here’s a re-creation of what happened with Beatles ’65

Fig.1: This looks like $1.99, it’s supposed to be $7.99, the top part of the seven or his “hat” as it’s known in pricing circles is not long enough. Luckily, it’s a quick fix

Fig. 1

Fig. 1

Fig. 2: Or is it? Instead of just extending it’s “hat” I gave the seven a “stabilizing bar” as is standard practice according to Num6ers: Number Writing in the 21st Century and Beyond (Lenny Harris, 2002 Tidewater Press) which I think is premier book on numbering. Anyhow, it doesn’t look like a 7, it looks like a deformed plus sign. So I went back in

Fig. 2

Fig. 2

Fig. 3: I fell into the classic numbering mistake of extending the “hat” too much, making it look like an unfinished “A” floating in space. Grrrrr.

Fig. 3

Fig. 3

Fig. 4: I should have paid attention to the old adage “Never number angry” but I didn’t and I wound up adding an extended “claw” to the “hat”. When done correctly a “claw hat” seven is a thing of beauty. This isn’t one of those times.

Fig. 4

Fig. 4

Fig. 5: Commonly known as a “Gorilla Monsoon” named after the former wrestler and amateur numberer. This is the final stop in numbering. Primitive, brutal and all but unreadable, the “Gorilla Monsoon” style has been the death of many Sharpies and has been rumored to cause job ending nightmares to more than a few of the more sensitive professional numberers

Fig. 5

Fig. 5

Fig. 6: I decided to remove the sticker and start over. So removing the sticker with all the finesse of a dull blunt object, I turned a $7.99 record into a $3.99 record. The end.

Fig. 6

Fig. 6


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