Posts Tagged ‘ Pretzels ’

A Message from the Pretzel Council

We at the Pretzel Council want to remind you that fall is pretzel grilling season. One of the best pretzel grilling recipes we’ve found comes from one of our favorite cookbooks, Fahrenheit 451. The recipe is called Pretzelbook Italiano, it’s a simple recipe where you marinate both book and pretzel in an italian dressing marinate. The marinate softens the books spine and tenderizes the pretzel while adding a nuanced pulpy flavor. We suggest serving it with a bottle of 1997 Stinkwood Glenn Rose. Bon Appetit!

PRETZELS! Not just for Eatin’ (or snackin’)

great cookbook!

Mmmmm...almost done

sorry, it only serves one

A Message From the Pretzel Council

Hello pretzel lovers and the people who love pretzel lovers. We have just returned from a fact finding mission in Cradle of Pretzel Civilization. That’s right people I’m talking about Germany. In Germany, pretzels are an undeniable fact of life. Humble pretzel sellers ply their delicious wares in rock clubs (figure 1). Street signs remind citizens that pretzels are the king of snacks (figure 2). Pretzel scientists (Wissenschaft Brezel Männer or “science pretzel men”) have developed a new type of pretzel. The intriguing pretzel/donut hybrid (figure 3), which unfortunately has none of the “zazz” of either pretzels or donuts. Keep swingin’ for the (pretzel) fences Fritz, American pretzel aficionados are keenly following the exciting (and delicious) pretzel advances of Germany. Pretzels Uber Alles!

Pretzels! Not just for eatin’!

(figure 1)

(figure 2)

(figure 3)

A Message from the Pretzel Council

(figure 1) The Eastern Steamhat ripe with fresh pretzels

We at the Pretzel Council celebrate all kinds of pretzels and the brave men, women and children who manufacture them with love.  Yet there’s a special place in our hearts for naturally grown pretzels. Yes, wild pretzels come in many different forms, today we’ll take a look at pretzel trees. The most prominent of the pretzel bearing trees is the Eastern Steamhat (figure 1). The same trees that Walt Whitman mentioned in his famous poem Things I See While Drunk on my Porch
“Man o’ man do I hate bee’s
Hey, is that a pretzel tree?”

Wild tree pretzels have a nutty earthy taste prized by many top pretzel chefs. So do yourself a flavor and try a wild pretzel!

Pretzels! Not Just For Eatin

A Message From the Pretzel Council

We at the Pretzel Council don’t condone murder (even for those fanatical anti-pretzel activists), but if murder must be committed, why not use a pretzel?
Here’s four easy steps to a perfect pretzel murder:
1) Obtain giant pretzel (We recommend Das Pretzel King or Tiny’s Artisanal Pretzel Works. However you should avoid Salto’s Pretzel Town as they don’t belong to the BPBI (Brotherhood of Pretzel Benders International))


2) Freeze giant pretzel.
(You should use a dedicated pretzel freezing unit, they are available at most pretzel manufacturing supply outlets)


3) Use giant frozen pretzel as a bludgeon or sharpen the giant frozen pretzel and use as a blade
(There are many instructional video’s online concerning pretzel sharpening.)


4) Thaw and eat pretzel
(You should first clean the giant pretzel/murder weapon. There are quite a few pretzel cleaning products out there, we recommend Pretzel Glow.)
Murder most foul? How about murder most delicious.

PRETZELS! NOT JUST FOR EATIN’!

Pretzels made this happen!

A Message from The Pretzel Council

With a bad economy sweeping the world, professional wrestlers are more in demand than ever.  Professional wrestlers are kings of society, they eat steak frequently and they’re always looking for a new gimmick.  We at the Pretzel Council recommend using a large pretzel as a wrestling mask. Just picture it, you’re in the squared circle,  the arena is filled with thousands of boisterous wrestling fans, the ring announcer walks slowly to the center and…”Ladies and gentlemen…….EL PRETZELO !!!!!” Go ahead, live the dream, with pretzels.

Pretzels! Not Just For Eatin’

EL PRETZELO!!

A Message from the Pretzel Council

With the recent scourge of tiny wild boars running roughshod throughout the country we at the Pretzel Council suggest setting traps for them and using large pretzels as shackles for the boars until the authorities can retrieve them and return them to their tiny boar prisons.
PRETZELS! NOT JUST FOR EATIN’

Be careful with these varmints

A message from the Pretzel Council

After a long exhausting day, try a pretzel massage. Heat up a pretzel in the microwave and feel the warm dough and salt erase all the problems of your day.
*PRETZELS! NOT JUST FOR EATIN’*

a pretzel massage

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