I Hate Me, part 491,922

Went to Foodtown the other night for some supplies, which included apples. Their apples were terrible, like red balloons full of mush. So I headed over to Whole Foods, Bought the stuff I needed, (the Pink Lady apples were pretty good) and headed to the checkout. There was one woman ahead of me, the checkout conveyer wasn’t full of food so I figured it wouldn’t be long and I plopped my groceries down. I ran into my brother-in-law there, he was in the next checkout line and we were shooting the shit about comic books and other world altering stuff. His line which had many people on it was moving quickly and I realized that mine hadn’t moved at all. I looked and there was the same amount of groceries from the woman in front still on the conveyer. I didn’t know what was going on until I saw the woman still had a full cart of food but was deciding on each piece of food before she put it on the conveyer. She was adding another step to the drudgery of shopping. Instead of what most people do which would be “Hey, I want 6 apples. These look good.”, she had bags of produce and then was thinning the herd at the counter. “I only want these three tomatoes, I don’t want the other two”, “mmmmm Yeah I don’t want this celery….wait wait…I take that back but I don’t want this one.” This went on for a long time, Dave had finished checking out and came over, we were exchanging some “WTF” looks, I’d never seen anything like it. Finally somebody came over from customer service and offered to ring me up at the customer service desk, and the long national nightmare was over.”

Whenever I see Pink Lady apples, I'm reminded of an 1980's variety show called Pink Lady & Jeff. I don't really remember the show but I remember the title was used as a punch line by some late night TV hosts

Whenever I see Pink Lady apples, I’m reminded of an 1980’s variety show called Pink Lady & Jeff. I don’t really remember the show but I remember the title was used as a punch line by some late night TV hosts

Sunday Music 7/20/14

Ty Segall Band-Tell Me What’s Inside Your Heart

This is from Slaughterhouse (2012, In The Red), the only album by Ty Segall Band not to be confused with Ty Segall himself and the many recordings under his own name. However you want to slice it Mr. Segall and his contemporaries (including but not exclusive to The Oh Sees, White Fence, and  Mikal Cronin) have been cranking out some of the best music I’ve heard in years. Slaughterhouse has parts that sound like a garage punk Hawkwind. This song is just perfect noisy garage pop

220px-TySegallBandSlaughterhouse

I Hate Me, part 429,019

I usually make my own lunch for work, in an effort to try and eat healthier. Most days I’ll finish it off with a low fat yogurt. After finishing a salad I was treating myself to Dannon “Light & Fit” raspberry yogurt. It doesn’t taste terrible, however the purplish color of it resembles nothing in the natural world. Unfortunately we had run out of spoons. I was furiously tearing apart the lunch table looking for a spoon, nothing. So I decided to use a fork. What’s a fork but a more adventurous spork and I could eat yogurt with a spork. So if I ate it really fast, and used a shoveling motion it might work. Looking back, I should have taped up the fork making it more spoon-like but hindsight is always 20-20. It ended up being a mess, with me having to change my shirt and the great “Yogurt with a Fork” debate was settled.
dannonlightraspberryyogurt

Sunday Music 7/13/14

Lithium X-mas : Hip Death Goddess
This is from the Dallas based band’s 1993 album Helldorado (Direct Hit). It’s a cover of an Ultimate Spinach song “Ballad of the Hip Death Goddess” from 1968

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Ads, Flair Magazine

Flair Magazine from 1950 lasted a year. It was an early example of magazine as art object. It was a lavish magazine, most issues had  die cut covers, fold out pages, and attached inserts. Contributor’s included Dali, Tennessee Williams, Jean Cocteau and Saul Steinberg. The high cost of producing it killed the magazine pretty quickly. My mother had a complete set and while I’m sure there are sites out there dedicated to Flair, I don’t know if anybody ever posted some of the small black and white spot ads from it. Here are a few: [click on image to enlarge]
Scan 7
Scan 13
Scan 19
Scan 12
Scan 4
Scan 5
Scan 2
Scan 6
Flair


Sunday Music 7/6/14

Freedom’s Children-That Did it
South African heavy blues rock, sounding like a much more ragged Led Zeppelin. From the 1971 album Galactic Vibes

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I Hate Me 400,88

 

[This reads a little cranky, sorry]

I had to go to Foodtown. As I was going to grab a cart, a woman sent her small child to get one as well. This kid was young, barely passed toddler and this task was above her level of competence. I know that kids should be encouraged to do things, it’s how they grow but at the same time, pick your spots. If there’s a long line at Starbucks don’t have your child stammer out your intricate latte order, it’s not cute and everybody in line hates you. Same thing here, if there are people waiting to grab a shopping cart, don’t send your overmatched child to wrestle with one for two minutes while you’re talking on your phone. By the time her child had won her battle with the cart there were three other people (one with children) also waiting for carts. The woman shot us a look and went into the store. Once in the store I went about my business, as I was passing the deli section I saw the same woman at the counter holding up her child who repeated the order that was being whispered into her ear. The deli clerk had a blank look of disgust. I got the rest of my stuff and went to the check out and aauughhh! I was stuck behind the woman and her child. Nothing happened but some of the woman’s groceries weren’t on the conveyer belt and were stuck at the end. She didn’t notice it so I moved it onto the belt, “That’s my food.” I explained that they were stuck and I moved them, this earned an eyebrow raise and some guy who just finished bagging, wearing a shirt with Jesus wearing sunglasses and “I’ll be back” written on it gave me the stink eye as well. Just get me outta here, I rang up my stuff and was ready to pay. There’s this thing called Blink, it’s a sensor on the card machine where you don’t have to swipe, just put the card near it. I’ve never used it, until…
“Ok you paid”
“No I didn’t, I didn’t swipe my card yet”
“The Blink thing got the information”
“what?…Blink?…what?”
I was suddenly that old guy who had fallen behind technology and a younger person has to explain basic concepts in calm measured tones that one would associate with a sanitarium. The kid to his credit was explaining Blink to me, possibly over explaining it. I got the concept after the first couple of seconds, and the checkout line was growing. “ok……ok…okokok..I got it..yup…got it….thanks…sorry…thanks.” I was the asshole holding up the line, I grabbed my shit and slunk out.
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