Political News

Franken’s Win Bolsters Democratic Grip in Senate and Hope Elsewhere

After nearly eight months of waiting, 20,000 pages of legal documents, and millions of dollars in election costs Al Franken emerged Tuesday as the next United States senator from Minnesota, ending one of the most protracted election recount battles in recent memory

Mr. Franken, 58, a former comedian and author, could be seated in the Senate as early as Monday. This news has given hope to many of his Saturday Night Live alumni with their own political aspirations and problems. Jon Lovitz (SNL 1985-90) locked in his own protracted election recount, a mayoral race in Pringleton, Nebraska sent out a press release saying in part “Hopefully Al’s win will help the rest of us with our own electoral logjams, I know Jan and Kevin were also keeping tabs on Al’s progress” Jan is Jan Hooks (SNL 1986-94) who ran for water commissioner of Gellin County, North Carolina. Even though Ms. Hooks ran unopposed county officials demanded a recount, which hasn’t been certified yet. Kevin is Kevin Nealon (SNL 1987-96) who was running for grand marshal of Springfield, Ohio’s annual Simpson’s Day Parade. Nealon is in a technical dead heat with actor Peter Bonerz (the Bob Newhart Show) for Grand Marshal.

I Like Records 15

An old woman came in with a handful of records demanding to see Jack, the guy who owns the store. “Tell him I have valuable records that I wish to sell.” When she was told that I was the guy who looked at used vinyl, she looked at me and balked, “No…no…I don’t want him to look at them I want Jack.” Jack eventually made it downstairs and told her that I was the guy who looked at records, she made a lemon face and left. A few hours later she came back, “I hear you’re the gentleman who buys records, I wish to sell these.” It was a Charles Aznavour record, 2 copies of the Pal Joey soundtrack and 2 Christmas albums. “I’m sorry ma’am, we can’t use these” “Well why not?!” “Well…no one would be interested in these titles.” “How do you know?” “It’s my job to know what sells and I know these will never, ever, ever sell. I’m sorry.” “mmmm, well just take them.” She was annoying but I kind of felt bad for her, I went through my pockets and found I had three dollars. “Here, you shouldn’t leave with nothing, I’m just gonna throw them out but here’s three dollars” “How about four” “Three’s all I got lady” “mmm ok” I look over to Matt (another guy who works here) who’s standing nearby and give him a whatthefuck was that all about look and all of a sudden the old woman re-appeared slammed down the three dollars and said “Deals Off!” and toddled off with her records

4th Of July Fun Fact

Country music super patriot Lee Greenwood who has made a career of singing patriotic music (God Bless the U.S.A.) is now required by law to include the words “God Bless” “the” “Proud” and either “U.S.A.” or  “America/American” into every song he sings or records. For example: When Greenwood sings the song “Wind beneath My Wings” it has to become by lawGod Bless the Proud Wind Beneath My American Wings

God Bless Lee Greenwood

God Bless Lee Greenwood

I Hate Me, Pt. 221,659

Running late for work and I went to Dunkin’ Donuts for a coffee. On my way out I saw a guy parked next to me looking at my passenger door, this can’t be good. So I steam over to see what’s up. “Uh.. yeah man…I think I hit your door…uh…sorry”. It wasn’t really anything and I was pleasantly surprised that the guy actually said something. So I went back to my car, put my coffee on the roof while I fumbled for my keys. I found my keys, then I dropped my keys, they bounced off of my foot and landed under my car. I went from zero to furious in no time at all. So I started to paw around for my keys under the car and I began to think that maybe the guy who hit my car wasn’t such an ok guy anyway, maybe he just panicked and thought I saw him hit my car. Yeah, he’s an asshole, and I’m getting angrier. I finally found my keys and I got in the car. Before I closed the door, I realized that the coffee was still on the roof. So I started to get out and a rain of coffee spilled down the open door, splattering my pants and shoes. I just sat there, seething, coffee-less, wet, and late for work.

world views

Honduras views: Presidential crisis
In Central America’s worst crisis in a month, Honduran President Manuel Zelaya was sent into exile on Sunday amid a dispute over his proposals to change the constitution. Some Hondurans share their thoughts on the deposed leader with reporter Stelphoon Goobs in Tegucigalpa:
President Zelaya deceived us. He talked about democracy but then he couldn’t spell democracy. He spelled it Demoncracy and that scared me
I support President Zelaya and hope he comes back.
I do not like what has happened to this country since the new government took over. They have painted my house an unappealing color. They also shaved my dog and used his hair for government bird nests. I don’t think this is right, my dog liked his hair.

Notes From Das Boot 39

motley 16/29/09 Rockwave Festival, Athens
The festival got rained out which sucked as we were there setting up our shit, so it was kind of like a snow day but not entirely. Even Motley Crue’s dressing rooms were sad, so sad it looked like they were crying. Or maybe they were crying for joy.

Notes From Das Boot 38

6/30/09, home
The nine hour flight from Greece turned out to be twelve, and I’ve been up 23 hours. I got nothin’, good night.


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