I Hate Me, part 243,002
[note: this story is at best slender]
I had to go to the store after work. I ended up going to the A&P in Little Silver because the Foodtown didn’t have what I needed. A long time ago this A&P was great because it was open 24 hours and you could do weekly shopping with no one in the store except employees. Their prices were higher but I didn’t care because at one in the morning it was my personal supermarket. Dare I say, it was magical. Times have changed, now they close at 10pm and they have slow doors. I am not a fast man and their automatic doors are so slow that I’ve walked into them on several occasions, causing equal parts anger and embarrassment. They also lock one of the entrances near closing but they used to have a “please use other door” sign, not tonight. Clunk, walked right into it, slowly because I thought it was just slow not locked. Grrrrrr. Got what I had to buy and went to the checkout, they only had the self checkout open. I’m not a big self checkout fan, items don’t always read correctly and the self checkout watcher has to rouse themselves and come over and help but not before yelling out instructions “try scanning it againnnn”. If I was buying ass flavored Chex Mix then yes, I would appreciate the privacy of a self checkout but I’m not. I just want to get out of their quickly. There was a line of two people for the self checkout, I wasn’t paying attention and just stood there for a minute then I figured out that the two customers were talking to each other and the other self checkouts were open. Just as I realized this, “Hey, use those two” the self checkout matron yelled from her perch pointing to two open registers. So I started scanning my stuff and, “Hey, use that register”. Christ was I using the wrong register, fuck. I started gathering up my stuff to go to the other register, “No, not you…him”. Me, him, what? My mind was a bag of soft peanuts and I stopped caring. I finished, paid and walked into a slow door on my way out. Check and mate.