I Hate Me, Part 109,222
It had snowed a little bit a few nights ago while I was at work and it was my job to keep the walk in front of the store snow and ice free. The snow pretty much stopped by the time we had closed, so I stayed a few minutes to give it one last cleaning. As I was finishing up, a woman scurried by and this is what I thought she said:
Woman- Been doing some sweeping?
Me- You got it.
I answered quickly to what I thought she said, by the time I realized what she really said it was too late. What she really said:
Woman- You think he’s been cheating?
Me- You got it
Aauugh! I just stepped in crazy.
Woman-I knew it!…I knew he was cheating!!
Me-NOnono..I..
Woman- YES!..you know he drops me off early….says he’s got something to do….I KNOW WHAT HE’S GOTTA DO!!…..CHEATER!!
Me-nononono….nonono..I thought you…
Woman-…He thinks he can come around after he’s been cheating!…No sir…Not me
I slowly backed into the store, locked the door, turned off the lights and waited until the coast was clear.
The weather called for light snow and a chance of crazy
Man, you attract all kinds of crazy, lemme tell you …… oh, by the way, I’m gonna stop by Jack’s tonight to hang out and chew your ear off (I bet that would go good with some fava beans and a nice chianti) …… got any Rick Wakeman albums ???
Oh shit! What are you gonna do now?? What if some psycho shows up tomorrow and starts whacking you with a tire iron shouting “Why did you told my girlfriend/wife I’m cheating on her? Now die!!! (Whack, whack)
And then Monster Magnet has to perform in the dark. That’s no good.
You better be creful, man.
What the hell is a creful??? I htae typos.
So, be careful Tim, beware of enraged cheaters!
Kenneth, what’s the frequency?
Remember that time when God walked by (on his way to play skee-ball in Asbury Park), and simply asked you “Brains?” and you went “Trains? …. no use for them …. Toy & Hobby Masters is two block over”.
And after that God sighed, walked away and said to himself “l can’t believe it took me a whole day to make these people”.