REPRINT: I LIKE RECORDS 31

I’m still working double shifts (or “irons” as I’ve heard they’re called) so  I don’t have anything. I was starting to write something about how annoying it’s getting when someone  writes a bit about a “shocking” bacon recipe. “Bacon cupcakes!? Oh my God!”Why anybody at this point is shocked or even gives a shit about new recipes with bacon is beyond me. I love bacon and I get it, you can use bacon in any recipe, aauugh! Anyhow, here’s another reprint:

The bathrooms at work are locked. If you give the key to a customer more times than not it A) gets left in the bathroom or B) comes back wet. So it’s easier and less disgusting to just let customers in using your own key (unless the customer is a complete dick, then the bathroom is broken):

Guy: You guys have a bathroom?

Me: Yeah, this….

Guy: (interrupting) Thank God, I drove up from Barnegat and jesus, I gotta go.

Me: (walking towards the bathroom)…Yeah,…uh…

Guy:..and I had a big coffee so ya know…

Me: Look man, I’m sorry and I don’t want to be rude but I don’t really want to hear about how bad you have to go to the bathroom.

Guy: Oh..uh I just wanted to tell you so you wouldn’t think I was faking.

Me: I don’t care if you’re faking or not

Guy: Yeah, but…I’m not…I really have to go.

Me: (I open the bathroom door) …light’s on the left

Guy: (as door is closing) I really do.

    • spank
    • May 12th, 2012

    Oh man, let me use the can … my back teeth are floatin’

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