Archive for September, 2010

Fuckin’ Mets

Good Christ, after a rotten year that at first teased hope from me (until the all-star break). I’ve had increasingly lower expectations as the year has staggered on. Tonight it was, “Hey, if we win the rest of the games, we won’t have a losing season”.  I know it was improbable but why not, I’m an optimist.  After the top of the ninth in today’s contest against the Brewers, where they really couldn’t play any worse if they tried, another losing season is a now a fact.   They should take apart the organization at a molecular level

I Like Records 45

"Dylan...you know, the good album"

Middle aged guy, saturday morning, not drunk.

Guy-Yeah….hey….know what I’m looking for? That Edgar Winter album….you know the good one…you know what I mean, right?

Me- He put out a few…do you want a greatest hits?

Guy-Nah…No…you know the GOOD one…The one I want…uh…YOU know…

[I looked up Edgar Winter cd’s, I figured the one he wanted had “slow ride” and “Frankenstein” on it, I just couldn’t think of the title]

Me-I’m checking his cd’s…yeah, he’s done a bunch of ‘em. Him and his brother…Yeah, they’ve lived pretty long lives for being albino, I heard they usually die on the youngish side.

Guy-…Whut?…Albino?…really?…I just thought he was really, really white.

Me- Really white?

Guy- yeah…

Me-Ok, it’s on They Only Come Out At Night

Guy-maybe…maybe…mmmwhat are the songs?

Me-”Hangin Around”, “whe..

Guy-(cutting me off) yeah, that’s a good one…what else is on there…

Me-”When it Comes”, “Alta Mira”, “Free Ride”, “Undercover Man a few more… and “Frankenstein”

[I was reading them very fast but he was still commenting “yeah that’s a good one too” after every title I read]

Guy-yeah ok, I want it

Me-We’re out of it, gonna have to order it for you, let me have your name and number and we’ll call you, it’ll be about two weeks.

Guy- a week?

Me– no, two weeks


ONE WEEK LATER

Guy- yeah, i didn’t get a call about my cd, so I figured I’d stop in and check. My house isn’t like an office and sometimes I don’t get my messages.

Me- Yeah, I told you it’d be two weeks

Guy- Do you got that good Dylan record?….I went to another store and they didn’t know…but you got a computer so…

Me- Dylan’s had a few good records, which one?

Guy-…You know…The GOOD one…it’s got “Lily of the west” on it

[I’m fairly well versed in Dylan’s music, I don’t know that song. So I looked it up and it’s on Dylan (1973). The album is made of out takes from New Morning and Self Portrait, seen as a revenge record by Columbia it’s generally considered Dylan’s worst album.]

Me- It’s on Dylan
[ as soon as I said it I knew I had opened myself up for an Abbott & Costello routine]

Guy-Yeah..Dylan…what album…does it have “Lily of the West” on it?

Me-it’s on a Dylan album called Dylan and yes that song’s on it…and it’s out of print…not made anymore…we can’t get it.

Guy-…why would he do that…

Me-I don’t know why man, try Amazon.com

a headline

I never thought that USA Today was big on snarky humor, or even humor.  I know I’m being douchey and childish but…well there is no but… and I know it’s Jay Leno territory. Guilty. I’m a douchey, childish Jay Leno style biter.

Sep 28, 2010-USA Today

Pavin says Tiger won’t have problem with Ryder Cup wives

Diamond Memories 2

With performance enhancing drugs being one of the subjects in Ken Burns new documentary Baseball: The Tenth Inning, I wondered what previous generations of ball players did (legal or not) to give themselves an edge. Here’s an excerpt from an article I found in the book Gandy Dancers & Bearcats:Living in the 20’s, which is part of the Hearst Newspapers Decade Series.

Velvet McGoone-Catcher, 1919-1926 / Pelham Paint Pots (Northeast Patriot League)
When we used to play back to back double headers, some of the fellas who had weaker constitutions would gripe about feeling flagged. This was startin’ to be problem, so Mr. Stanton who was our clubhouse manager at the time rigged up something he called the wake-up seat. It was an old barber chair that he set up with some electrical doo-hickeys and made it into a kind of weak electric chair. He said that a weak charge of electric would give the guys some extra pep. Well it worked, ‘course I never did it as I was like an ox and a pot of coffee before a game was all I needed, well a pot of coffee and some of those pills that Mr. Culpepper would give us. Mr. Culpepper was our bookie and amateur sawbones. Anyhow, sometimes there was problems with the wake-up seat, especially when Mr. Stanton was on the drink, which was often. He’d make a mistake and give a little too much juice, make the seat a little too hot if you know what I mean. One time, we had a second baseman,Stabby Jackson, named because he got stabbed a lot. Well, Stabby got too much juice, not enough to kill him but boy did he howl. And he wound up completely hairless and pink like a baby, and he started speaking what we thought was swedish but later turned out to be just gibberish. On the plus side, he played like a house afire for about a week. Then we were playing the Rahway Turkey Vultures, or as everyone called ‘em the Turks and Stabby just fell asleep, right on the field. He wasn’t dead, but we couldn’t wake him. He was out like a light and our manager Mr. Freer was fit to be tied, he didn’t want any lollygaggers on the team. So he had the batboy take off Stabby’s uniform and he left him in his long johns on the floor of the dugout and we went off to our next game. I heard that Stabby woke up a week later and was none too happy, I never seen him again. Well, the fellas kind of felt a little scared of the wake-up seat after that and it didn’t get used as much and we just used it to electrocute mice we caught in the clubhouse.

Sunday Music 9/26/10

Tommy Riggs-The School Bus. This is a cry in your beer anti busing number that takes pains to let us know that the kids in the bus were both black and white, it sounds like it’s from the early ‘70s but I’m not sure. It’s on this amazing compilation of fucked up country music called Whiskey Rebellion, which I don’t know too much about. A copy of it was sent to me by a friend of mine, Jack. Now Jack or DJ Jack the Ripper as he’s sometimes known is a guy who should have a music blog, he’s a connoisseur of weird and amazing music from this obscure country insanity to equally obscure and crazy D.I.Y. noise stuff. For fucks sake start a music blog!

I Hate Me, Part 272,824

my enemy, my knife

I went up to New York for a meeting. After the meeting I got a coffee with a couple of friends. While standing on the street drinking coffee and talking I felt that my pocket knife was stuck in my pocket. The key ring part (see photo) was stuck on a loose thread. The pocket had been recently sewn, so I figured I’d just yank the knife out of my pocket. Bad move. While I got the knife out I also re-tore my pocket. I found this out as I felt a bunch of change cascade down my leg. A few pieces ended up on the sidewalk, the remainder (21 coins, $1.97) ended up in my shoe. I had a train to catch and I wasn’t gonna take off my shoe on a crowded subway or a train. So there I was with what amounted to an uncomfortable coin insole and getting angrier with every step. When I got home a cold drink and an empty shoe made things better. Cut to the next morning. I was supposed to drop my step daughter off at the bus stop for school and I got up late. So I jumped out of bed, and quickly threw on a shirt and unknowingly the same pair of pants, I jammed my cell phone, pocket knife and change I took out of my shoe back into the torn pocket. As I was running down stairs I felt my knife slide down my leg and some change in my shoe and in my head I was yelling “FUUUUUUUUCK!”

I Like Records 44

Wednesday afternoon, middle aged guy, not drunk.
GUY-Do you have Kiss “Crazy, crazy nights”, I just saw them and that’s the only song I don’t have by them.

ME-(look it up) Yeah, we should have that (get it from the Kiss section)..here you go Crazy Nights.

GUY-No…no man….no…This isn’t it…it’s Crazy CRAZY Nights…This is just crazy nights

ME-yeah…but there’s a song called “Crazy, Crazy Nights” on there.

GUY-...oooooohhhhhh yeeaahh…it is….I guess they were messin’ with me, with the title…yeah…that’s pretty tricky of them…(takes a deep breath) Okay, now I have a second question….Arlo Guthrie…..what’s his newest album?…..Do you know if that’s what he’s playing in concert now?

ME-.…uh….Let me see what his newest album is (look it up)…it’s called Tales of ’69, it came out last year.

GUY-Is that what he’s playing live?…cause that’s what they usually do…with the concerts……sometimes.

ME-...Yeah, I don’t know what he’s playing live, you should check his website, maybe they would know.

GUY-(puzzled look)…yeaahhh…so why do you think Kiss did that….why didn’t they name it Crazy CRAZY Nights?

ME-...uh…I don’t know…maybe two crazy’s was too much

GUY-(blank stare)…yeah…but why?……that’s weird isn’t it?…I think so…but the song is on the cd…mmmmm (leaves)

[about an hour later]

Phone call-(it was the same guy) ...uh..do you got the new Arlo Guthrie album?

ME-Weren’t you in here asking about that?

Phone call- um…uhh…..(click)

Sunday Music 9/19/10

Kevin Ayers-“Butterfly Dance”

Kevin Ayers-“Butterfly Dance” He was in The Soft Machine and he’s English. This is his second single, I think it was originally released in 1970

Record Art of Jim Flora

Jim Flora did a lot of great early album art. Here’s a few ’78 albums that I came across. These shaky photos will give you a taste of how cool his stuff is.  There’s a lot of stuff online about him, here’s a good place to start http://www.jimflora.com/

I Hate Me, Part 136,943

A long time ago when I was in my early twenties, I went on my first real and only job interview. It was with Northwest Orient Airlines as a baggage handler, a friend of mine who worked for them set it up for me.  Since the Northwest Orient headquarters was located near the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport it was cheaper for them to fly job applicants out there for interviews and physicals. I was pretty psyched, I hadn’t flown much and I kind of felt like a big shot being flown out for an interview. I flew out early and was met with a company van and driven with other applicants to the airline headquarters. I took a physical and went for the interview, I was very nervous. I noticed that the guy doing the interview was named Livingston and I came up with an idea for an interview “icebreaker”. I started the interview with “Doctor Livingston, I presume?” Silence. Crickets. Tumbleweeds. No response, nothing just a dull stare. The stare of a man who had probably heard that shitty joke about a million times. The stare of a man who was in a position of power and didn’t have to listen to that type of stupid bullshit from a prospective grunt worker. The interview lasted about 15 seconds and I was unceremoniously ushered out and brought back to the airport, where my return ticket was a standby and I ended up waiting eight hours for a flight back to Newark.

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