A Message From the Pretzel Council

We at the Pretzel Council don’t condone murder (even for those fanatical anti-pretzel activists), but if murder must be committed, why not use a pretzel?
Here’s four easy steps to a perfect pretzel murder:
1) Obtain giant pretzel (We recommend Das Pretzel King or Tiny’s Artisanal Pretzel Works. However you should avoid Salto’s Pretzel Town as they don’t belong to the BPBI (Brotherhood of Pretzel Benders International))


2) Freeze giant pretzel.
(You should use a dedicated pretzel freezing unit, they are available at most pretzel manufacturing supply outlets)


3) Use giant frozen pretzel as a bludgeon or sharpen the giant frozen pretzel and use as a blade
(There are many instructional video’s online concerning pretzel sharpening.)


4) Thaw and eat pretzel
(You should first clean the giant pretzel/murder weapon. There are quite a few pretzel cleaning products out there, we recommend Pretzel Glow.)
Murder most foul? How about murder most delicious.

PRETZELS! NOT JUST FOR EATIN’!

Pretzels made this happen!

    • klutch
    • June 11th, 2010

    Something tells me MAGGIE made this happen.

    • feedtim
    • June 11th, 2010

    You’d think so but she was out, so it was the lovely and talented Mrs Crondorf

    • chris
    • June 13th, 2010

    OMG – that pretzel killed Taff, the ketchup filled man.

    • imelda marcos
    • June 13th, 2010

    Tiny’s Artisanal Pretzels is in Williamsburg next door to this operation… http://www.mastbrotherschocolate.com/.

  1. it’s an epidemic!! (i hope this picture posts)

  2. damn! didn’t post, http://www.tincanrecordings.com/images/jinx.jpg
    i made this to give helen a laugh and she wanted me to post it.

  3. as a member of PETP; “People for the Ethical Treatment of Pretzels” i surely hope that no pretzels were harmed in this event, dramatized or reality….

    you can rest assured that I WILL continue to monitor this blog for any such infractions.

    GOOD DAY SIR!

    • fishburp
    • June 15th, 2010

    also, beware of “mr. salty” pretzels, they can inflict a painful bite-especially when drunk, there’s nothing more dangerous than a drunken pretzel.

  4. My wife’s cooking is faster and leaves less mess (as long as you clean up the pots etc before eating!).

    • fishbreath
    • December 17th, 2011

    hey someone is stole my name and re-posted my comment – weird!. those pretzels are dangerous.

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