December 31st, 2009, 11:58pm
Baby New Year meets Old Man Old Year
[Backstage: Baby New year; top hat, diapers, 2010 sash. Old Man Old Year; top hat diapers, 2009 sash.]
Baby New Year (BNY)-Make way granpa, hot stuff comin’ thru.
Old Man Old Year (OMOY)-Pffffffffffft! Old Man!? I’m 12 months old.
BNY-Sure, that’s great. Move it along old timer.
OMOY-See this sash, it says 2009. Why would an old man be wearing a top hat, diapers and a 2009 sash.
BNY-Mmmmmm I dunno, you’re senile and you shit your pants.
OMOY- Grrrrrrrrr, I’ll shit YOUR pants, boy!
BNY- You’ll shit MY pants, what the fuck does that mean.
OMOY-Look you little asshole have some respect…
BNY- (a dull stare)
OMOY-…gaze upon me for this is your future young one, this is what twelve long months does to you.
BNY-Greeeeaaaaat…are you done flappin’ those old gums.
OMOY- yeah, I guess so…Hey, is there still an open bar.
BNY-Jesus, I’m A FUCKING BABY, I don’t drink, I don’t know if there’s an open bar, I don’t care if there’s an open bar, ok?. Christ look at the time, I gotta go.
OMOY-For fucks sake, can I get a goddamned drink around here!