December 31st, 2009, 11:58pm

Baby New Year meets Old Man Old Year

[Backstage: Baby New year; top hat, diapers, 2010 sash. Old Man Old Year; top hat diapers, 2009 sash.]

Baby New Year (BNY)-Make way granpa, hot stuff comin’ thru.

Old Man Old Year (OMOY)-Pffffffffffft! Old Man!? I’m 12 months old.

BNY-Sure, that’s great. Move it along old timer.

OMOY-See this sash, it says 2009. Why would an old man be wearing a top hat, diapers and a 2009 sash.

BNY-Mmmmmm I dunno, you’re senile and you shit your pants.

OMOY- Grrrrrrrrr, I’ll shit YOUR pants, boy!

BNY- You’ll shit MY pants, what the fuck does that mean.

OMOY-Look you little asshole have some respect…

BNY- (a dull stare)

OMOY-…gaze upon me for this is your future young one, this is what twelve long months does to you.

BNY-Greeeeaaaaat…are you done flappin’ those old gums.

OMOY- yeah, I guess so…Hey, is there still an open bar.

BNY-Jesus, I’m A FUCKING BABY, I don’t drink, I don’t know if there’s an open bar, I don’t care if there’s an open bar, ok?. Christ look at the time, I gotta go.

OMOY-For fucks sake, can I get a goddamned drink around here!

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