Archive for June 11th, 2009

A real message (really)

I’m leaving for tour this afternoon for two and half weeks, so while I’ll be posting my idiocy I’m at the mercy of european wi-fi or digital carrier pigeons or whatever they hell they use over there. The upshot is maybe a few posts one day (lucky you) and none the next (luckier you).

I Hate Me, Pt. 171,842

Spiderman
I’m not a huge fan of spiders. Yes, I know all the good they do: The silken webs, their beautiful singing voices, time traveling.    I get it, they’re amazing creatures. I just hate them, they creep me out. I don’t flee in terror (most times) but we have an understanding, and we’ll leave it at that. Today at work I had to go across the street to one of Jacks many buildings and clean up a bunch of crap in the basement. This was fine, it got me out of the store for a bit. I was taking apart a bunch of old metal storage shelves. Things were going along ok when i got to the last of the shelves and it was festooned with spider webs and Holy Shit! a giant spider. It was thick and about the size of a CD. I dropped the partially dismantled shelf and just stared at it, I was looking for signs of angry spider life. After a few minutes I went over to the shelf and kicked it over to see about the spider and then i realized the “spider” was just a big piece of dust in the spider web. I was relieved and went back to wrestling with the shelves and I felt something on my arm. Auugghhh! a real spider, I jumped and hit my head on the low basement ceiling and landed in the pile of dismantled shelves. At least the spider was gone as well as what little pride I had left.

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